My name is Oscar the Grouch and this is street where I live. I bet you think that being a grouch on Sesame Street is a lot of fun. Well, let me tell you something. A day on Sesame Street is just like any day on any other street. BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! At six o' clock every morning the newspaper carrier delivers newspapers to the building next to my can. What a terrible noise to wake up to. I love it. It's that BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! that gets me off to a nice grouchy start every morning. At seven o' clock in the morning I eat breakfast. Today I'm having orange rinds, rotten eggs, burned bacon, and stale bread crumbs What a great meal! But I'm sure the breakfast at your house is just as good. Oh, no! Here come my neighbors to get their papers Good morning, Oscar! says Ernie Good morning, Oscar! says Grover Good morning, Oscar says Prairie Dawn AAGGH! Even burned bacon tastes bad after three GOOD MORNINGS in a row Eight o' clock in the morning is one of those nice times in the day when a grouch can really relax. Everyone is hurrying to school or to work. Rush, rush, rush! No one has time to stop and say hello. Isn't it wonderful? The mail carrier comes at nine o' clock. Today she delivers four letters to the Count. Once again there is no mail for me. So who wants a silly old letter anyhow? Ten o' clock in the morning is clean-up time on Sesame Street. Big Bird starts sweeping and dusting and dusting and sweeping. I can't stand clean-up time. I keep thinking, There goes another great collection of trash. At eleven o' clock in the morning some of the people around here do chores and errends. Bert does his laundry at the laundromat. Biff takes his paycheck to the bank. Rodeo Rosie picks up her cleaning at the cleaners. And what about me? Well, my favorite chore is waiting for the Mudman's delivery. Heh heh heh. It's twelve o' clock noon, and that's lunch time. I don't know about your neighborhood but on Sesame Street Friends share their lunches. But grouches don't share I would hate to part with any of my delicious peanut butter and sardine sandwith. At one o' clock right after lunch, it's nap time. Even Barkley takes a nap. Ijust happen to play my trombone at one o' clock in the afternoon. Can I help it if Barkley doesn't appreciate great trombone playing? At two o' clock in the afternoon a lot of people go to the park. There's just one thing I don't understand. The joggers and walkers and bird watchers and kite flyers like to visit the park on a nice sunny day. I only go to the park when it rains. By three o' clock in the afternoon most of the kids are home from school and playing games. They're all doing things they like to do. Around this time I do something I like to do too. I complain. Hey, Barkley. cut that out! hey, Prairie Dawn, there's too much shouting! Hey, Ernie, stop laughing! We grouches don't like to see anyone having a good time. At four o' clock on Tuesday the bookmobile comes to Sesame Street. Well, it is now four o' clock on Tuesday and that is why I am standing in a line in this crowded bookmobile. I am waiting to check out my favorite book Mother Grouch Rhymes. At last my favorite time of day! Rush hour! At five o' clock in the afternoon everyone who has been somewhere working all day begins rushing home. Cars are stuck in traffic. People are tired and hungry Motors are rumbling Tummies are grumbling. Even cheerful people are a little bit grouchy. Isn't it wonderful? At six o' clock in the evening I eat my supper. I suppose you eat your supper in the evening, too. Tonight I am having pizza. Now I ask you, is there anything more delicious than pizza with banana slices on top? At seven o' clock in the evening Ernie takes his bath. Here at Oscar's can it's also bathtime but not for me Slimey, my pet worm takes his bath at seven o' clock too. Of course he takes a mud bath. Heh heh heh. At eight o' clock it's storytime. Over at Big Bird's nest Big Bird reads to all the little birds. They just love a good book. Persinally. I can't stand happy endings. Whew! Now it's bedtime= nine o' clock. Everybody turns out the lights. Everybody snuggles into bed. At last- peace and quiet Now it is time for me to practice my trombone again. What a perfect ending to another yucchy day on Sesame Street.